Hello and welcome to part three of our little Lesson in Arrogance. So, without further procrastination, we present to you the “payoff.”

At this point in the story, you’re probably wondering what any of this “wrestling talk” has to do with the Family Guy-themed Windows 7 infomercial that Seth MacFarlane is currently producing. To put it simply, it is proof that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. In other words, this upcoming special could very well be MacFarlane’s “Finger Poke of Doom.” Allow me to explain.

Eric Bischoff’s entire WCW reign was based around the idea that he was not the establishment, also known as Vince McMahon’s WWF. McMahon wants to jettison all his established stars in order to save money? Well Bischoff is not only going to open up Ted Turner’s bottomless checkbook, he is going to rip off the cover. McMahon wants to put the hype machine behind several six foot-plus behemoths that have a few issues with “performance enhancing drugs?” Bischoff is going to scour the world for those who are the very antithesis of that ideal. It took some time to get people to notice his “unique” concepts, but once they did, they came in droves.

Seth MacFarlane is the same exact way. When it first debuted, Family Guy was considered to be animated equivalent to a ten-car pile up. There were jokes that didn’t relate to anything. There were references to things that no one even came close to remembering, such as obscure title sequences and one-off Monty Python skits. The fictional town of Quohog itself featured everything from a talking dog and a homicidal baby to a man in a chicken costume and eccentric actor Adam West. There was some “problems” at the beginning — Family Guy was canceled twice — but after a while, the general public began to “warm up” to MacFarlane’s brand of bizarre humor.  Perhaps the proudest moment for MacFarlane’s creation came in early 2005, when fan demand all but forced Fox to renew the show. At that point in time, Family Guy was one of the biggest success stories ever to come out of the world of television, bar none.

Then a funny thing happened: All of the success, accolades, and newspaper articles started going to their respective heads. With Bischoff, the arrogance manifested itself as “Uncle Eric,” a brash, sarcastic on-screen authority figure that delighted in the misfortune of others. Each week, Bischoff, along with his compatriots in the NWO – New World Order, easily one of the most popular wrestling stables (groups) of all time — would openly mock anything that came to mind. Everything was fair game, from the “live-action cartoon nature” of the competition to “reminiscing” about the time he fired then-rising star Steve Austin via FedEx. In one particularly memorable segment, Bischoff openly challenged Vince McMahon to a wrestling match. When McMahon “no-showed” the event, Bischoff was declared the winner by forfeit. While taking pot shots at the competition was nothing new in the world of wrestling, Bischoff’s “in-ring rant sessions” took things to a whole other level. A somewhat scripted segment between wrestlers was one thing. A thinly-veiled proclamation of superiority by the boss on live television was quite another.

As the years went on, so did Bischoff’s reliance on his seminal idea, the NWO. By the time of the Finger Poke of Doom, there were five versions of the group active, including the LWO (made up primarily of wrestlers of Latino decent) and the B-Team, whose job it was to “lay down” (take a dive) for the stars. Ironically, just as fans began to grow tired of the NWO, Bischoff’s air of invincibility increased. It reached a point where such television terms as “quarter hour returns” and “pay-per-view buy rates” became as familiar to the WCW faithful as words like “pin” and “title match.” Even the visible cracks formed by the Goldberg/Kevin Nash match at the Starrcade pay-per-view weren’t enough warn the man in charge. He was still on top, and that was all mattered.

MacFarlane’s arrogance, on the other hand, started to show itself  in a slightly different fashion. Instead of physically saying what was on his mind like Bischoff did, he let it all come out in his work. Gradually, the stories and Manatee jokes became more focused on “shock value” than the more traditional humor found in Family Guy’s first three seasons. Nowhere was this more apparent than in the infamous “prom night dumpster baby” sketch, in which a cadre of newly born babies sing about being abandoned in an alley. To say that the new direction was “controversial” amongst fans would be an understatement. Some applauded the change, calling MacFarlane and company “fearless and creative.” Others were rather disappointed by the new episodes, saying that the writers “forgot how to be funny.” Either way, people were talking.

In addition to the increased use of Manatee jokes, the writing staff became more dependent on using their own political views in their storytelling. Stories about patriarch Peter Griffin playing the piano while drunk or baby Stewie trying to sabotage his parents attempt to have a fourth child were “phased out” in favor of episodes about partial-birth abortion and the impact that Wal-Mart has on small town America. Brian, once considered to be the most popular character on the show, now spent most of his screen time criticizing such things as capitalism, the Republican party, and organized religion (namely Christianity and Judaism.) The days of jokes about television programs from the 1980’s and the Fonz were long, long gone.

Now before we get to the main point, we need to make one thing perfectly clear: We are not saying MacFarlane has reached Eric Bischoff-levels of arrogance just because he dares to be political. What does bring him to that plane, however, is his insistence that his fans should appreciate anything that he produces, regardless their own personal point-of-view. “[There are some fans who] watch every week, and every week they talk about how terrible the show is,” said MacFarlane in his September 2009 Playboy interview. “That’s something you see in animation fans, science fiction fans and comic book fans—all the nerds, basically. Nerds can get really angry. This is not meant to sound insensitive to their plight, but when you pour a disproportionate amount of your life force into one particular thing you can lose some objectivity.”

…So here it is, the reason for our three-day story. It all boils down down one simple idea: MacFarlane has become a hypocrite, just like Eric Bischoff did ten years earlier. When he first started, Eric Bischoff wanted nothing more than to create a wrestling that was anti-Vince McMahon and Vince Russo– gritty, realistic, and devoid of the “spectacle” atmosphere and publicity stunts that the WWF prided themselves on. By the time The Finger Poke of Doom rolled around, Nitro was everything he claimed that he hated. Aside from Goldberg, “Diamond” Dallas Page, and Sting, all of the stars were made famous by McMahon’s hype machine. Loyal fans were basically told by the announcers to watch “that other” show, but only if they promised to return for the main event. When they did return, they got to witness one of the most bizarre moments in wrestling history. Some were angry, some were confused, but for the most part, everyone agreed on the following two points:

1. It was the last thing anyone wanted to see.
2. Be it for better or for worse, Monday nights now belonged to Raw. It might not be perfect, but at least it was better than this. To put it in another way, Mick Foley really did put asses in the seats, both physically and metaphorically.

In the case of Seth MacFarlane, his hypocrisy comes from his seemingly cavalier disregard for the beliefs that he holds dear. On one hand, MacFarlane has gone out of his way to preach the gospels of artistic freedom and modern liberalism to anyone that would listen. But on the other hand, he is willing to work with Microsoft, a company that many within his own belief structure feel is a heartless, soulless monopoly that is keeping the masses from discovering Linux. To make matters worse, said “cold, heartless monopoly” will have the final say on all of the jokes and skits found in the special itself. After all, things like “prom night dumpster baby” or “Herbert the elderly pedophile”  are not conducive to moving copies of Windows. And that is why they are there, after all. If history does indeed repeat itself, the special will be followed by a few angry rants, a negative article or two and a solemn vow never to watch Family Guy ever again. It’s the Finger Poke of Doom 2009 … and the perpetrators were too full of themselves to ever see it coming.

…And there you have it. Be sure to check back tomorrow to view our “Five things you can do to avoid your own Finger Poke of Doom.” Until then, we bid thee a fond adieu.

It’s been teased. It’s been promised. It’s been put off several times. And now, it’s here. After nearly two weeks of hype, we here at the Free Line proudly bring you our review of Lunascape. Since Lunascape is complex, we figured that it would be best to present said review as a numbered list. With that said, here we go…

The Good:

1. I have never seen a browser take the idea of customization so seriously. Don’t like the icons?  Lunascape allows you to design your own. Want to write your own menu? You can do that as well. Perhaps you’re in the mood for some news from your favorite RSS-enabled site. Guess what? Not only is a “headline ticker” available to you, it’s enabled by default.
2. The developers are not afraid to “reinvent the wheel,” as they say. Case in point: Every browser known to man offers a “reload/refresh” button. Lunascape has one of those as well. It also features ten specialized variations of the reload/refresh button that might be useful in a pinch. Now, do I ever see myself the “light reload” feature? No, but it’s nice to know that I have the option available to me.
3. Maneuvering between Trident, Gecko, and WebKit could not be simpler. All you have to do is click on the little icon in the lower left hand corner.
4. Blocking unwanted content is as easy as pressing a button. Nearly everything imaginable can be blocked, including sound files, Javascript, and Active X downloads.
5. Every time I decide to use this browser, I discover something new. While that might be a bother to some, I absolutely love it. In a strange way, it makes using a web browser exciting again.

The Bad/Downright Odd:

1. As I have said before, this not a “web browser” in the most traditional sense of the term. It is a highly advanced, high-powered application designed for browsing the web. As such, it takes a little while to learn.
2. Casual users will hate this browser with a passion undying, provided that the sheer amount of options don’t make their heads explode first.
3. I wish that the extensions were available in English.

Final Verdict: Fantastic, provided that you know what you are doing.

…And there you have it. I hope that you enjoyed The Great Browser Experiment as much as I enjoyed writing about it. Everything will go back to normal on Monday. Until then, I bid thee a fond adieu.

Sometimes, one is just not enough. Yes, it is indeed a horribly worn out cliche, but it does smack of the truth every now and again. Today is definitely one of those times. On the latest edition of The Great Browser Experiment, we will be taking a look the final two browsers on the list, Avant and Orca. As always, I know that you have questions.

Weren’t you going to finish Lunascape today? – I was, but something came up. And by “something,” I mean the overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t prepared to write a full-on review as of yet. I want to feel comfortable using the browser before I write my piece. Expect to see part three either Thursday or Friday.

Is it because it sucks? – Oh heavens no! If anything, Lunascape is one of the best browsers that I have ever used. It just a takes a little while to get into. Let me put it in these terms: If Internet Explorer is MS Paint for Windows 95, then Lunascape is Adobe Photoshop CS4 Extended Edition. You just can’t go from a fifteen year old version of Paint to the latest version of Photoshop without feeling a little overwhelmed. It’s the same thing here. Just give me a few more days. It will all be worth it. I promise.

Okay then… So why two browsers at once? - Both Ocra and Avant are based around the same idea: Taking a well-known rendering engine and putting a distinct, Opera-like interface on top of it.

Which one is which then? – Orca runs on Gecko (Firefox), while Avant is based upon Trident (Internet Explorer).

Are there any noticable differences between the two? – The only differences lie in the rendering engines themselves. Orca has access to everything that makes Firefox great — extensions, themes, etc — while Avant has all of Internet Explorer’s … um … give me a second here. Internet Explorer must have something unique I can talk about…

Funny. – I thought so. After all, man cannot live on Sleipnir and Chrome insults alone.

Point Taken. So how is it? – Interesting, to say the least. The developers seem to go out of their way to include options that no other browser would even consider, such as a highly advanced pop up blocker, an automatic scroll button, and an “undo closed tab” feature. It’s interesting, to say the least.

What is your favorite “improvement?” – All of the tool bars are completely detachable … including the tab bar. That’s right. I can have the tabs at the bottom of my browser without loading an extension. I really wish that my precious Firefox could do something like that…

How do the Firefox extensions work? – Hit and miss. Download Statusbar worked perfectly, for example, while Fancy Numbered Tabs did not. It’s really nothing to write home about, however.

So here is the big question: Is it worth loading? – It’s worth a try. That said, don’t be expecting a major overhaul ala Lunascape. At most, it feels more like a highly customized theme than a whole new browser.

…And there it is. Be sure to come back tomorrow for even more Lunascape. Until then, we bid thee a fond adieu.

…And we’re back. It’s been a little over a week, but I have finally fixed Flock. To say it was a pain in my backside would be an understatement of gigantic proportions. In the past eight days, I have done everything from uninstall the browser to hack the about:config screen, all in a futile attempt to make this browser work as it should. As you can probably guess, my “solutions” didn’t fix squat. If anything, it made things worse. So what did solve my problem, you ask? It turned out that all I had to do was disable my beloved Tab Mix Plus extension. (Sherlock Holmes I’m not.) I already miss it, but I guess I can make it through, as they say. I would much rather have a working browser than the “gray screen of sadness” that I was seeing yesterday. Now that everything is working at peak condition, I can give Flock (and two of its closest friends) the introduction they so richly deserve. Expect to see our “qualified bachelors/batchelorette” get the old “once over”  tomorrow. With that said, here we go. Play me in, Herb!

Browser number one comes to us from San Francisco, California via Tokyo, Japan. She lists her hobbies as multitasking, script writing, and trying to get the leg up on her old rival, Sleipnir. Please welcome everyone’s favorite three in one dynamo, Lunascape!

Meeting people is the ultimate goal for browsers number two. It is said that he is on good terms with all of the top go-getters on the social scene, including Facebook, Twitter, and that lovable loser, MySpace. From the legendary Mozilla family, please welcome Flock!

And finally, we have a browser who is intimately familiar with life on the screen. Some say that his years of experience, as well as his innate ability to be more that “just a browser,” gives him the edge on our show. From New York City, please welcome browser number three, AOL Desktop!

…And now that all three of our lovely browsers have been introduced, it’s time for our questions … tomorrow, of course. (Oh come now. Don’t give me that. Everyone knows that a good host always keeps the audience begging for more.) Be sure to come back tomorrow for part two. On behalf of Brad Fallon and everyone here at (Our Fair Use Parody of) The Dating Game, this is a writer pretending to be legendary game show announcer Johnny Gilbert saying good night everybody!

Note: Today’s Free Line is designed to be one thing and one thing only: Fun. Expect to see the Free Line back in its normal, quasi-serious state tomorrow. With that said, here we go…

My apologies gang, but we are going to be cutting things a tad short today. Between my well documented problems with Flock, the confusing mess of menus that is Lunascape, and the mandatory swimming lessons that everyone here in North Georgia seems to be taking these days, I am unable to deliver the “literary impact” that I usually provide. Still, that doesn’t mean that I am going to take the day off. Not by a long shot. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a nice round of what I like to call “comparisons 101.” Think of it as a combination of a Barbara Walters interview and the old Dating Game, only, you know, not completely obnoxious.

Question: Okay browsers … If you could be something other than a web browser, what would you be?

Internet Explorer - The greatest hits album of a musician, band, or composer that you absolutely despise. You know it exists and you know that other people like it. You just don’t want to have anything to do with it.

Opera - A complex Alternate Reality Game. It all seems simple enough at first, but there are enough hidden messages and features to keep the user busy pressing buttons and loading things for weeks on end.

Chrome - An over hyped summer movie that ends up not only being terrible, but a gigantic bomb as well.

Safari - A fuel efficient car. It’s practical, easy to use, and just ever so slightly boring.

SeaMonkey – A period piece. Sure, no one actually wants to go back to the time depicted, but it sure is fun to visit from time to time.

Netscape – An episode of Barney Miller. Granted, it might have been great in its day, but it simply did not stand the test of time.

Sleipnir – A short story by Richard Matheson, the man behind such works as I Am Legend, The Incredible Shrinking Man, and several hours of classic TV. Like the bulk of Matheson’s stories, Sleipnir is a terrifying, yet thought provoking, character study of the unknown. It has its good points to be sure, but the sheer terror derived from its very existence is enough to make a man go mad.

Flock – An original Volkswagen Beetle. It’s a great way to get where you want to go … provided that it’s working properly, however.

Lunascape – The vision of Alice in Wonderland described in the classic Jefferson Airplane song “White Rabbit.” It all seems normal enough at first, but eventually, you begin to question the nature of the things around you. By the end, you realize that you are as far away from “normal” as humanly possible … and somehow, you’re okay with that. It’s not perfect, but you can deal with it.

In the past few weeks, I have been almost everywhere the standard web browser has been willing to take me. I have seen the good (Safari), the bad (Internet Explorer), and the painfully over hyped (Chrome). I have seen the past (Netscape Navigator), the future (Opera), and a misguided, albeit well-meaning, attempt to combine the two (SeaMonkey). I have even suffered through Sleipnir, which is more akin to a Serling-esque tale of psychological horror than a web browser. That said, I have never seen anything quite like Flock. Unbelievable, I know, but bare with me here. It will all make sense in a moment.

I, like many of my generation, grew up on a strict diet of “80’s sci-fi,” a sub-genre so expansive that it could fill an entire book. At its best, an 80’s sci-fi movie is the direct result of when action, futuristic sounding techno babble, and quotable, yet completely over the top, dialog decide to have a picnic together. Who cares if Driving Miss Daisy and Hannah and Her Sisters were nominated for a truck load of awards? Given the choice, I would take classics like Highlander and The Last Starfighter over those films any day. At its worse, well … let’s just say that names like Lou Diamond Phillips, Christopher Lambert, and Don “The Dragon” Wilson tend to show up a lot. Still, all of these movies have one thing in common: Each and every computer has to look downright alien.

Think about it this way: Let’s say for a moment that you are a lone soldier trying to hide a baby from a ruthless cyborg that high-steps like he’s in a high school marching band. You want to find out where the mechanical “drum major of doom” is located, but you just do not feel like looking around the corner. So what do you do? You go on a computer. But not just any computer, mind you. You find one filled to the brim with rounded corners, oddly shaped buttons, and links to other programs that you have never even heard of. Sure, you might not be using any of that now, but it might come in handy someday. Believe it or not, we humans are closer to experiencing the scenario listed above than once thought. Okay … so maybe the scientists are still working on the whole “robotic band director hellbent on destruction” thing. But the “alien computing experience” is here today. It’s called “Flock.”

As I sit here, typing what no doubt will be another award-winning Free Line, I am at once intrigued and baffled by the odd mix of buttons and options that sit just above my text window. One apparently has the ability to “open the blog editor.” Another allows me to “start the photo uploader.” I want to start pressing buttons, but at the same time, I’m kind of scared that I might do something bad. So for now, I am going to my best to cruise on this browser’s basic features. Randomly pressing buttons is something that only an veteran user should be doing, and I’m not to that point … yet.

…And there you have it. Expect to see more about this interesting, “future-perfect Firefox” tomorrow. Until then, I bid thee a fond adieu.

PS: I would also do my best to avoid those musically inclined cyborgs that seem to, pardon the pun, flock around futuristic looking browsers like Flock. After all, there is nothing scarier than an army of Borg drones carrying trombones or a Dalek playing a snare drum.

My journey with Chrome continues in earnest. After palling around with Google’s pride and joy for the last few days, I think I have finally figured out my root problem: It’s boring. Now before I get into the crux of my argument, allow me to detail the things that I actually like about the oft mentioned “browser of the future.”

• The Speed – It truly is as fast as Google claims, for the most part. There are some sites that seem to be rather slow on the uptake, but that’s just nitpicking on my part.
• Tabs in the Title Bar – I know that I mentioned this yesterday, but it bares repeating. It really is a great idea.
• Download Bar – I have always been a fan of putting the “download bar” at the bottom of the screen. My installation of Firefox does this as well, but that’s only because I have an extension installed. Having it as a part of the “standard package” might be considered a “minor innovation,” but I don’t care. It makes me happy.
• Application Shortcuts – The process of turning a website into a freestanding program is nothing new. That said, it’s nice to actually have it built directly into the browser for once.
• Incognito Mode – Extra security is always nice to have around.

As you can plainly see, I don’t think that Chrome is a horrible waste of hard drive space like Internet Explorer. I just feel that it’s the web browser equivalent to cottage cheese — intriguing when it’s combined with something, but painfully dull when eaten alone. So what would it take to make it a bit more interesting? Funny you should ask.

• Extensions and/or Widgets – I know that this is a big complaint, but again, it bares repeating. Why should I believe that Chrome is this grand “Microsoft killer” when it doesn’t even let you do anything to it? When asked about the API needed to make extensions, the folks at Google say cryptic things like “it’s on its way” or “its currently scheduled for a 2009 release.” “Theoretical” is fine when one is talking about the speed of light or alternate universes. Programming toolkits … well … that is something else entirely.
• More Options – The options menu in Chrome can be described using only one word: pathetic. Even Internet Explorer, the bane of my computing existence, has a better options screen. Now I’m not saying that every option screen should resemble the “about:config” menus found in both Firefox and Opera. I just wish that the “Under the Hood” tab allowed me to do something other than turn off the “phishing controls” and check my proxy settings.
• Bring Back the Search Box – I know that the so-called Omnibox is the wave of the future. But here’s the thing: not everyone wants to jump on it yet. There are still people like me out there who would much rather “stay in the past” and stick with the search box that they know and love. It doesn’t have to be enabled automatically. I just want it to be an option.
• Bring Google to Task for Once – There … I said it. I’m sorry, but sometimes it seems as if there are more “softballs” thrown in one Google interview than there are in an entire season of fastpitch. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, I am not saying that Matt Cutts and the gang should be treated like the hierarchy at Microsoft. I just believe that a few “tough questions” would force the team not to rest on its proverbial laurels.

…And there you have it. If anyone out there has a suggestion on how I can defeat this “boredom problem,” be sure to say something. Until that time arrives — or tomorrow, whatever comes first — I bid thee a fond adieu.

One Final Thought About Opera: To say that I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement. I am extremely pleased to report that the days of paying $40 for a subpar browser that is crawling with oddball “browser windows” and obnoxious advertising is long gone. Today’s Opera is solidly built, extremely fast, and has enough options to keep an “experienced user” like me busy for weeks. While I do wish that I had access to Firefox-esque extensions, the loss truly wasn’t that big of a deal. I quickly realized that I simply wanted them, instead of “needing” them like I did in Internet Explorer. Besides, Opera allowed me to rekindle my life-long love affair with Pipe Dream. What other browser can make that claim? All in all, Opera 10 is definitely worth the old “once over.” Even if you don’t like it, you won’t regret trying it. I can guarantee it.

All of this praise, of course, leads us to one major question: Is it better than Firefox? The answer is a sad, but completely matter of fact, no. It comes close, but at the end of the day, I still find myself longing for my Mozilla-based friend. After all, I spent tons of time — years, actually — modifying and tweaking the browser to get it just the way that I like it. I’m not going to throw that effort away on a whim. I will, however, be keeping Opera installed. It’s always nice to have a “backup” browser that isn’t Internet Explorer and besides, there are still several options that I have yet to try.

…So where do we go next, you ask? Easy: We are going to try Chrome again. As fans of the Free Line are already well aware of, we have a rather tenuous “love-hate” relationship with Google’s so-called “browser of the future” — it loves us, but we hate it. The bizarre, one-sided love affair that many of my colleagues in the tech world  seem to have with both the browser itself and its developers doesn’t help the situation. That said, I plan on going at things with as open of a mind as humanly possible. Unfortunately, it is already proving to be “difficult” at best.

First Thoughts About Chrome: Let’s get at it from the top.

• It’s fast. I’ll give it that much.
• After installation, Chrome asked if I wanted to import my saved passwords from Firefox. I said yes. Sadly, it didn’t work right. All of my saved information was either wrong or corrupted.
• I don’t care what the press says — the Omnibox is a horribly bad idea. Yes, combining the search bar with the URL bar is a good idea in theory. In practice, however … well … it only leads to a tension headache.
• Having the tabs sit in the title bar instead inside the browser window is actually a good idea.
• The options screen is sad. I’m talking “Internet Explorer” sad here.
• Several of the hidden menus — namely about:network, about:ipc, and about:objects — are not coming up for me. I honestly have no idea why.
• In the span of ninety minutes, I had to “force close” Chrome twice.
• I miss the status bar. The “pop-up” box that appears in the bottom-left corner of my screen simply does not cut it.
• I can apparently readjust every text box that I run into. That’s nice … I think.

…And there you have it. Be sure to tune in tomorrow, when I continue to fight endlessly with experiment with the enigma called Chrome. Until then, we bid thee adieu.

At the beginning of the Free Line, I made the promise that I would be completely and totally honest with all of you. With that in mind, I will share my unbiased opinion on Internet Explorer: I hate this program. I despise it with a passion unknown. I loathe it so much that I am actually looking for ways out of my “three to five day” pledge. Why is my time with IE so incredibly painful? Allow me, if you will, to count the ways:

1. Half of my plugins do not work in the 64-bit implementation of the browser. If I want to, say, watch YouTube, I have to close everything that I’m doing and open the “traditional” 32-bit version.
2. The tab bar is always at the top of the screen, even when I only have one tab open. I can’t hide it. I can’t move it. I can’t shrink it. I can’t even get rid of the useless “add new tab” button. It just sits there, mocking me. Its mere presence is bothering me to no end, but there is nothing that I can do about it.
3. The basic “options menu” seems to have been written by either The Riddler, Lewis Caroll, or those people who write the “fine print” on loan applications. I’m far from a novice, but the wording used in these dialog boxes is confusing even for me. The “advanced” tab is even worse.
4. Certain pictures simply refuse to load. I have no idea why this happens.
5. Firefox-esque extensions are next to impossible to find. Instead, I get to choose from a wide variety of Accelerators and Web Slices. For those unaware, an “Accelerator” is a special add-on that adds a search function to a series of highlighted words. While it’s an interesting novelty, I really don’t have use for something like that. A “Web Slice,” on the other hand, is a small section of a website that the average user can subscribe to. In many cases, these “slices” feature continually updating snippets of information, such as stock reports or sports scores. Now this … this is something that I could actually use. There is only one problem: I need to have yet another toolbar open. Toolbars and I don’t get along all that well. Because of that, I have to throw Web Slices into the same trash bin that Accelerators now call home. My precious extensions, meanwhile, are still in Firefox, waiting for me to come home.
6. For reasons unknown by any of us here, a text ad in Firefox is now suddenly a picture ad in Internet Explorer. If I have to be asked about animated sitcom Family Guy one more time, I think that I’m going to scream.
7. If I want to tweak the browser speed in Firefox, I simply type “about:config” into the address bar. If I want to tweak IE’s speed, I have to go to our good friend, the command line.
8. I spend every day reading stories about how worms, viruses, and malware can effect Internet Explorer. If you think that this hasn’t gotten me extremely paranoid, then you’re sadly mistaken.
9. The scroll wheel on my mouse is a bit too sensitive for my tastes.
10. The built in spell check is downright atrocious. It completely missed that I misspelled the word “sensitive,” but made sure to tell me that “malware” is not a word.

…And there you have it. Things might get better tomorrow, but I’m not keeping my hopes up. Until then, I bid thee adieu.

As long time fans of the Free Line know, we have absolutely no problem interrupting our daily routines in order to provide you with a clearer view of the world around you. In the past year for example, we have done everything from run Linux for a two week period to adopt the GPL as gospel and everything in between. If we think that it will educate the masses, then we’ll do it. It truly is as simple as that.

So what is our latest plan, you ask? Simple: It’s web browsers. We don’t know about you, but we find that it’s hard to truly formulate an opinion on something this “heavy duty” just by running it for a few hours. No … In order to get the big picture, you have to truly integrate it into your life. And that is exactly what we are going to do. So without further adieu, allow us to present to you latest plan: The Great Browser Experiment.

The Browsers: Internet Explorer, Opera, Safari, Chrome, Sea Monkey, and Sleipnir. Firefox, also known as our browser of choice, will be used as a “control.”

The Rules: Each browser will be run for a period no less than three days, but for no longer than five. During a test period, no other browser is allowed to be used, unless a “head-to-head” style comparison is used. Aside from that, the world is our oyster.

Note: While The Great Browser Experiment is important to us, it will not be the only thing that we will be covering. If and when something big happens, or if something strikes our fancy, you better believe that we will be reporting it.

…And there you have it. Be sure to come back tomorrow to see about the first browser on the list: our good friend/bitter enemy, Internet Explorer. Until then, we bit thee good day.